I was once self obsessed with my own selfish contempt. Where the baby fat of my youth never shaved itself off in my older years and since carried with it the mentality of that youth. Being the youngest child of three, I had given my aspirations to my older siblings without thinking much of it. From there, I gave all autonomy to others and, as I succeeded in not being yelled at by my father, nor had any drastic change that forced a difference in opinion, kept this mentality up until I lost everything. In this, I was led to believe that the world existed in one color. That anything beyond what is important attributes itself not by my hand, but in dreams that satisfy present and fleeting desires, until boredom, where the next dream suffices me until years pass me by.